It's Worth it to be Weird

A good friend of mine, Ingrid, recently wrote me the sweetest letter. She talked about how she's been teaching a class in systems and administration, and it hasn't been a comfortable experience. She told me how vulnerable she felt, speaking on something she is so passionate about. Ingrid's feelings of inadequacy and the fear of being judged make her wonder if it's even worth it to be vulnerable and show people her true self.

Now, Ingrid is brilliant and strong-willed. She refuses to wallow in self-pity and always bootstraps herself out of bed and back into her busy, productive life. And she knows the answer to her own question: of course it's worth it to be vulnerable!

Ingrid's letter gave me so much joy. Systems and administration are NOT natural giftings of mine. However, I have learned that they are the 'yin' to my creative 'yang.' Without a system to help me focus and stay on track from one day to the next, I don't think I would be able to get anything done! Much less eat properly, spend meaningful time with my loved ones, etc. I'm in awe of Ingrid's natural bend in this area, and I would TOTALLY take her course!

Her letter also made me laugh. Despite our different aptitudes, her feelings are all too familiar. I remember a moment when, as a teenager, I understood there was something different inside of me. I also knew it had something vaguely to do with creativity. I told myself, 'this part of me is weird. I will lose my friends if they know. I must push it down and hide it.

And the thing is, maybe on some level teenage me was right. I was in survival mode. I needed to blend in, be cool. My home life was rough; my friends meant everything. I don't blame that younger version of me, but if I could talk to her now, I would say:

That part of you inside: that bit that is different and weird: that is the best part of you. It's the part that holds your superpower. If you dare to show it, your weirdness will shine, light up the dark places of this world and be exactly the encouragement that someone else needs.

And you're right; not everyone will love your weirdness. A few may be cruel. But the mean ones are in the minority. They are the chaff that blows away in the wind. Let go of your hurt. The ones that are not in love with what you have to share will go away.

What remains is a circle of supporters who are edified and passionate about what you dare to share. Sharing and finding acceptance, in turn, will give you a deep sense of fulfillment.

It's worth it. The fight to be honest and vulnerable; the battle to conquer self-doubt, and the crippling fear of rejection; it's all worth it. 

At least, that's what I would say to my younger me.

And this older version of me.

And you.