There is something in us all: a unique fingerprint, an impression that we make as we pass across the earth. In writing we call it your "voice". Everybody has one.
The magic happens when you discover a medium to release
this voice inside of you... from pastry to paint, to horseback riding... when your voice is released, true art is made.
Or maybe "spark" is a closer word for what I want to say.
Skill is a thing that can be developed. We study and practice to master the tools of our chosen mediums, but without the spark that expresses who YOU are, the art feels empty, contrived.
Discovering and releasing your spark, creating true and meaningful art... that part is tricky. Picasso is quoted as saying that "Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up."
I've experienced this. I've always loved to paint but somewhere in early high school I met a wonderful girl with a painting talent that I felt I could never match. My jealously gnawed at me. I lost joy in the art that came out of me naturally, and instead of loving and embracing my own spark, I tried to paint like her.
Jealousy, envy, insecurity, even false humility: over the years I have brought these things to my painting pallete. The scars of life convinced me that my love for bright vivid colours, the "swoopy" path my brush seems to take, my love of surreal elements, even my choice of subject matter, all betrayed me as an unskilled pretender. I thought that the thing that lay at the very center of my being: my "spark" must be hidden at all costs.
I fought violently with my art for many years. Painting or drawing brought on migraines so strong that my eyes would blur and I'd begin to see double. Despite this, I'd often push myself, refusing to accept anything that I could imagine as imperfection until I collapsed in pain and frustrated disappointment.
The optometrist couldn't find anything wrong, and despite my secret belief that the coolest thing a person can put on is a pair of glasses, I still have 20/20 vision. :)
Thankfully this year has brought powerful change. Through the persistent encouragement of friends I've found the courage to believe that what I do has worth and is beautiful. I've dared to put aside the crippling criticism in my head and to love the art that I create.
My headaches are gone, my heart is aglow. I have so much to learn about technique (everybody does) but I am learning to accept myself and to love the unique voices we all have to bring to this world.
Don't be afraid of your spark. If you paint with dots, or write about wizards... our quirks make us awesome.
But. There is something that makes me mad. Whatever industry you may be involved in, please stop a moment and consider... if you feel threatened by someone else's work, if jealousy has infected your soul, as it did mine, consider the harm it does, to your own gift, and... if you let it spill out... to others. Jealousy and it's products: bitterness, insecurity and competition... these are the antithesis of true art.
If your motivation is money... well, trust me, there are easier ways.
If your motivation is fame... you *might* find fame (probably not)... but art built solely on a desire for fame isn't really that great. You are in danger of becoming a clown of history.
And by the way... if you have been hurt by someone else's jealousy. Be brave. Don't stop being you. The jealousy they may feel is a common failing in us all and it blinds them to the magic of their own spark. Take whatever steps you need to to protect yourself from abusive language and behaviour and... show them a better way.
There is such beauty and good to come from honest expression when it is given the space and encouragement to be free. It gives voice to social issues, it is a powerful advocate for justice, it is both overt and subversive, it challenges the very meaning of what it is to be human, it asks the questions we dare not voice aloud. It heals us, soothes us, and calls us to action.
The practice of true art isn't easy. But now I understand; my insecurities don't have to rule me or hold me back. The fire in me is valuable, significant and needs expression.
So does yours.
