But it still happened, and it continues. Surprisingly, in an industry dominated by males, most of her conflict has come from other women. Vicious rumours are spread 'she must be sleeping with someone,' she's 'a liar,' she thinks 'she's better than us.' And so on...
It's called tall poppy syndrome.
It's when, in a society that values egalitarianism, anyone who achieves any type of 'higher' social status is attacked and 'cut down' so they can be at the same level as everybody else.
Now,
Thankfully, unlike my beautiful and talented friend, I've not had to struggle against this too much in life. But I do wrestle with the reverse: something I like to think as 'short poppy syndrome.' I define it as the fear of being perceived as prideful, of making others jealous, or worrying that success will damage the relationships around you. It also involves self-doubt: thinking that your talent is 'just not good enough' and others will scorn you for trying to use it.
So what did I do? I shrank. I ducked and hid. I would scrawl on an art pad hunched deep inside of a black hoodie, shooting eye daggers at anyone who might dare to look. My songs stayed in my journal, my manuscript languished unfinished on the computer. My paintings were underdeveloped.
Thankfully, this time of my life was pretty short-lived. But I have struggled in lesser degrees with 'short poppy syndrome' in different areas for years. For the longest time, I decided that I was only allowed to be good at one thing. I could say I was a decent painter, but never breathe a word about writing or vice versa. The idea of claiming a general aptitude in most things creative? (Except reupholstering furniture. Gave it a shot, was trapped in bar stool hell for three weeks. NEVER again) That was too much. Only a terrible person would claim to be good at more than one thing!
But I'm growing, and daring to shine.
So, what if, instead of shrinking (short poppy) or attacking others for daring to rise (tall poppy), we lifted each other up? What if we dared to stand tall in the talents and gifts we have, developing and enjoying them all the while praising and encouraging others along their journey?
And what are we so afraid of that we don't do this? No two painters use the same strokes. No writer can share the same story in the same voice. Yes, there are different skill levels, but that is something that can be developed. Your passion is incredible and unique and deserves to be developed and shared. My work is not lessened by your greatness; if anything, we can only both grow and learn from each other.
Yes, we are human, and our egos are oh so fragile. We have to fight against jealousy, recognizing that to be jealous of someone else is to forget the value of our own unique gifts. But I want to challenge all of us to try. We can be better. Stand tall, and declare who you are and what you can do. Act in true humility without embellishing or diminishing the value of your work. Shine brightly and make space to allow others to shine as well. Offer your gifts to those around you with an open hand, and know that rejection of your work still does not diminish your personal value or the inherent value of what you can do.
And if we do? I suspect that the world around us may grow into a place filled with music, colour, dance, laughter, surprise, and yummy homemade treats.
:D
So, what’s your gift?
